I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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