Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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