If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Someone signed my nipple.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
