why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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