he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
