Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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