How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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