Pappa wants mamma naked
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
