Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
