It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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