Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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