Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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