I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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