Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
