Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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