Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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