Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
