My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
