I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize