I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
