My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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