Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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