she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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