just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
barbara walters just said penis...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
