After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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