he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Drake has all the answers
Who died my cat blue again?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
