i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
