y did u give ur computer a hand job?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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