mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
