we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
