I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
