He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
