if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
