In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
