No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
