Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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