Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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