how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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