She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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