never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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