Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
