I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
