next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
