Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
