this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
