Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i barfeds in our rink
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
