After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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