break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
