he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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