therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
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