i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
