You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
