D3 body, D1 cock
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize