Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I have post one night stand depression
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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