Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
