Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
