the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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