I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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