i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
