just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I didn't notice because vodka
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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