yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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