In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
porn star boner night. come get it.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
