WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
