I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
