I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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